Brown Eyes Travelling

There was a time in the past I regularly wrote short-stories like this one:

Brown Eyes Travelling

Talking with her is not difficult, but once more, I want to see her smile. Only once more a smile – that is all I need.
But that wish won´t be fullfilled, won´t become true, but it has to be. And then I stand in front of her, looking straightly in her eyes and missing that, what I always missed. I even don´t have to notice it.
Drinking beer alone doesn´t taste, I experienced for a while. Liqueur never tastes, I experienced today. And so I am standing here – "All" is staring at me, as I would be the attraction on carnival. It would be smile, this "All", if it would know, what the motivation of my thoughts is. But the "All" is also lonely, nearly as lonely as me, and it is bored. And thats why it is staring at me.
What I am thinking about, it is asking.
„Brown Eyes never travel alone,“ I am answering. "All" is leaving, shaking its head.
„But the smile“, I am continuing, noticed by nobody. „But the smile, which is following, hides.“
If the "All" would have understood me, it would be better, but in this case, it is kidding me. I don´t care, because the next beer is drunk quickly, the fifth beer ordered quicklier. Well-Known are passing by and leaving. Hands are getting shaked, hugs are given. I realize the time foggy – half past twelve. Already so late? And I couldn´t notice the smile so far. Sweaty masses are passing by – sweaty by dancing and the heat in the hall. But I don´t meet brown eyes travelling.
I´m not getting beer anymore, the bar is closing, the masses are cooling down in snow outside, the music is stopping, the hall is enlightened. And me? Standing here without a word – thirsty, helpless and searching. Observing in fast motion the half-life period of masses is getting quarter an hour, the half-life period of beer is getting irrelevant and the half-life period of a smile is the eternity, when you are waiting for it. Give it to me once more, give it to me and I am satisfied. But how could you give, if brown eyes are travelling and I can´t find them?
Loneliness could be a curse, when you don´t want it. Mainly loneliness is a curse, if Conor Oberst is crying for her love and promising to follow her everywhere.
Love? What is Love? This warm, happy, amazing feeling, you get beside a person, who is important to you? Or is it only the glibbering, warm mass, pasting all of your body and aching, if you try to rip it off?
If brown eyes are travelling, they never travel alone. But the smile, which is following, hides. The brown eyes aren´t alone, but they are feeling like. Because the smiles doesn´t unhide, even, if it´s ordered.

It´s night, when the door is closing. I´m seeing blurrily the door to my room. Too much of the yellow-brown fluid, in which mostly I took more than comfort. I´m feeling the smoky taste on my tongue, feeling the taste of beer in my mouth and hope, that tomorrow I will wake up and realize, that everythig is a dream.
Thinking, Amplifying, Sleeping, Dreaming – thats all left. I´m dreaming of a slimy mass, which is holding me and won´t let me go. I´m drowning, waking up and looking for brown eyes travelling. But, why here? Have to look in the world, because only they could conquer the world, even if they won´t tell. They don´t know, that they conquered me.
Without thoughts, I´m filling up my bottle of water, recognizing that the sun rise. Even, if you don´t see the sun, it´s enlighting.
You miss sleep only, when you are tired and cannot sleep. You hate beer, if you drank too much the day before. But a smile always will be missed. One more time, please. Give it to me, and you won´t be disturbed by me again. Only a small sign and I am conquered.
Conquering, didn´t we talk about and I couldn´t answer? That´s still true. But the brown eyes are travelling and trying to rule the world. And they decide, which fortress will be rised down next.

posted by Chris @ 10:33 PM